There are many ways to think about the cycles and phases of our aging. Yet inevitably we fall into the pattern of organizing our own aging process according to decades. And perhaps a decade is indeed a good unit with which to ponder one’s existence. Each decade is a milestone that we either celebrate or excoriate, depending on circumstances.
Pretty soon, I’ll be celebrating the 50th Revolution of my own mortal body around the sun. And so, perhaps it’s time to ponder on this major milestone, which seems as formidable as it does banal. On the one hand, it’s just another birthday, another marker of time passed, a few more wrinkles perhaps, another pound of flesh. On the other hand, not only does this milestone mark the passage of another decade of life, but also half a century. And as one looks backward in time from this vantage point, one’s own youth seems to fade into the hazy realm of history.
My own time on earth happens to coincide very neatly with the passage of decades that we use to mark the epochs of our lives. I was born at the tail end of 1969, on December 18 to be exact. So I just made it into that monumental decade. I am very proud of the fact that I’m a child of the ‘60s, and that I was born in a vintage year, which witnessed Woodstock, the first men to walk on the Moon, the Beatles’ last studio album Abbey Road, and the Gap among other things.
Yet in reality, I’m a child of the ‘70s. All of my earliest memories are of that decade: the wind-down of war in Vietnam, Nixon’s resignation and Carter’s election to the US Presidency; the oil crisis and long lines at the gas stations; Skyrockets in Flight (Afternoon Delight); Roots, Rockford Files, and Dukes of Hazzard; a decade that ended in violent revolution in Iran and the hostage crisis. For me personally, that decade was sandwiched between my parents’ divorce in the early 1970s and their marriages to new partners at the end of that decade. In other words, tragedy and promise bookended that first decade of my life.
Then it was on to the ‘80s. As I turned 10, a whole new age was dawning. Lennon was shot and the world mourned. Reagan and Thatcher, Gorbachev and Deng Xiaoping took the grand stage. My musical world was rocked by the emergence of punk (actually late ‘70s but I wasn’t attuned to it then), hardcore, ska, New Wave...the list goes on. In fact, my musical tastes were pretty much solidified between the ‘70s and ‘80s and I still gravitate towards those eras of music to this day.
These were my teenage years, my “coming of age” years. I became a competitive swimmer and spent months of each year soaking in chlorine filled pools. My body was racked by two accidents, one that resulted in a lost spleen and another a broken collar-bone amongst other damage. Despite those setbacks, I managed to get into Dartmouth College, where ironically I’d been laid up after my devastating ski accident in ‘86. After that, I had four years of college, and began my long, hard road to China.
The ‘90s for me can be summed up in one term: grad school. This was my New York decade when I embarked on a PhD program at Columbia. I added Japanese to my language belt. I honed and developed my Chinese language skills and delved into the histories and literatures of those countries and places. Meanwhile, I personally witnessed the transformation of Manhattan, from a gritty metropolis into a gentrified one. I slowly got pushed out to the margins, surviving on my rather meager graduate stipend, and ending up camping out with a friend in Williamsburg. But I also spent a great deal of time in East Asia, racking up flight miles as I headed back and forth to Japan, Taiwan, and eventually Mainland China. This was the decade that I discovered two great loves of my life: the city of Shanghai, and my Shanghainese wife.
The ‘00s were a decade of career-building. I began that decade as a grad student and for much of the decade I was a college professor. This was a golden period of my life, for these were my Sydney years. I started that decade working hard to finish my dissertation and land a teaching job. After a brief stint as a visiting professor in Tacoma WA, I headed to Australia to teach Chinese and East Asian history. There, our first daughter was born. My wife and I spent five years in the sun-drenched and wine-soaked paradise of Sydney before we decided to move back to Shanghai. My friends and colleagues were aghast as I gave up a permanent job at that fine institution and fair city and threw myself upon the mercy of life in China. More struggles ensued as I attempted to redefine and build this new phase of my career.
The ‘10s for me can be summed up in another term: growing up. This was a decade of honing new skill sets, and taking on greater responsibilities. The birth of our second daughter and the rising cost of living and supporting an international family in Shanghai necessitated giving up some dreams and fantasies, and embracing some new realities. My career shifted from that of a professor to an administrator. I found myself responsible for more people, more projects, and more programs. I entered into some challenging and fruitful collaborations. I joined two startup educational ventures, one that didn’t quite succeed, and another that is now going strong.
I managed to publish several books and many articles during this decade. I also co-produced an indie doc film, and hosted a few others. Somehow, I was able to keep a hand in the academic game, while wearing the administrator’s hat. Still, I leave that decade behind with the wreckage of many a grand project abandoned or unfinished. I wonder if the next decade will allow me to complete some of the things I started, or what new things and experiences are on my horizon.
One more note about the previous decade: After finally meeting the music teacher I’d been looking for all my life, the incomparable Steve Sweeting, I recovered my long-lost love for playing piano and hit the keyboards hard, picking up some jazz and blues chops and vocal skills along the way. While admittedly driving my family nuts with my playing and singing, I’ve managed to enjoy this new phase of my musical life, while still keeping up with guitar. Still, two mistresses are hard to please, and neither instrument has gone where I’d hoped it would go. Maybe this next decade will see me getting out more and playing more with other musicians. That’s what I hope at least.
Now my daughters are both in their teen years and college looms ahead for one of them. They are starting the cycles of decades that I left behind long ago. My parents and in-laws are well past their 70th and closing in on their 80th cycles. Everywhere I look, there are new and greater responsibilities and duties looming ahead. Such is the life of 50 year olds, I suppose. Still, I look forward to the unexpected surprises that lie ahead, the inevitable twists and turns of what has been a rather unusual life and career. Bring it on, 50s, I’m ready for you!
Not quite a geezer yet—but getting there